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the_lazy_one
25 September 2013 @ 11:32 pm
I'm not writing this post to make my followers feel sorry for me.

I'm not writing this post to complain about my life.

I am writing this post because I want to let out what I feel for once.

Let me be fucking selfish for once and let out my feelings without someone interrupting me.

*~*~*~

I like helping others because I know what it is like to not be helped. I know that this is a fact that nobody knows.

I cannot turn away patients in need at work despite their financial situation because I know what it is like to be turned down for help because I did not have enough money.

I cannot turn away from my mom, despite the fact that I have become her personal chauffeur and assistant, waving on her hand and foot because I know what it is like to come home after a long day at work and having to do more work.

I cannot turn away from my dad who asks me to check up on my brothers and constantly asks me to take care of everything in the house because I know what it is like to have too much on your plate and not having someone to depend on.

I cannot turn away from my friends and siblings who I encourage at their toughest times to keep going because nobody was there for me when I was going through my rough times.

But despite all that, I wonder when a time will come when I will be the one being taken cared of instead of the one taking care of others.

I wonder if a time will come when someone will ask me, "How are you doing today?" and despite the fact that I will smile and say, "Everything is great!" they will give me a look and say, "No, really...how are you doing?"

I wonder if a time will come when I can say to someone how tired I am and unleash my inner thoughts and feelings and they would give me encouragement, an acknowledgement that I have done my best and have worked my hardest instead of being called a pushover or telling me to just deal with my problems myself.

I wonder if a time will come when I can ask myself what I had done wrong and someone will just tell me, "You didn't do anything wrong. It's going to be okay."

Because despite loving what I do and loving those around me, there will come a time when I know that I will get tired of it all.

And I'm afraid that I'm reaching that limit -- that moment when I will just say "fuck it" and give up on everything.

I am hanging by a thread but nobody seems to care and nobody seems to want to care.
 
 
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the_lazy_one
14 January 2010 @ 01:52 pm
taeyanghype

Sorry, this is a Friends Only party. Comment below to become friends! =]
 
 
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